Hey Guys,
It's been a while since I've put anything on here, but at last I've found some time and I've gotta let you all know about whats just happened.
On friday I went to retreat for young guys called Crysalis. It was held in a huge church building and there were about 26 guys there none of whom I knew. I got there at about 7:30, and ate breakfast. No clocks or watches were allowed on the weekend so by the end of breakfast we had completely lost track of the time. That was really cool cuz we never worried about time, we just let the leaders tell us when to do stuff. We had 5 talks a day, with really short breaks in between, so it was pretty intense. The theme of the talks was the way God loves us. All day on friday, people gave us things, cooked us great food, and just did other simple acts of unrequested love so that by the evening we were all pretty blown away. That night we did a thing where we wrote problems or burdens that are getting between us and God, and then nailed them to this huge cross, that was really powerfull. All day we had been told about how much God loves us, and this was just such a powerfull ending to the day and it left us all broken and weeping. The thing is, there was ZERO emotional "atmosphere", just some guy with a guitar playing some pretty simple stuff and singing, but the truth of what we'd learned that day and what we'd just done was overwhelming. After about an hour of crying and praying together, we were told to go to bed without saying a word, and we were all kindof annoyed. We'd just gone through such a powerfull moment together, and now they wanted us not to talk about it!! But we did as we were told and the outcome was unreal. Because we couldn't talk, the only way to express to each other what we felt was with hugs and knowing looks that said "man, God really loves us!". That night we all became brothers in the most incredible way, no one said a word, but we all just knew it.
The next day was even more incredible, the speakers went deeper into this endless fountain of love that God gives us, and we spent lots of the day crying like babies and wondering what happened to the cool, conrtolled guys that had walked into church the day before. People from all over the world sent us letters of encouragement, telling us once again that God loved us and that we should dig deeper into him. We all recieved so many gifts from people we didnt know, crosses, notes, stuffed toys, and all sorts of silly stuff that meant nothing other than the fact that people who didnt know us at all had chosen to spend time and money to love us. That evening we were led to the main sanctuary of the church, and as we walked we were all sining the song "I'll Fly Away" at the top of our lungs. But as we got nearer the sanctuary we started hearing some other song, and walking in we found about two hundred people, each with a candle shining in the dark, singing a simple song about love, I dont even remember the words. They all lined the isles, packed tight against one another, and as we were led in single file around the church, each one of them stopped singing just long enough to reach out, take our hands and say "Jesus loves you!". I was totally bewildered. I've never felt so truly loved in my life. I didnt know a single on of them, some of which I later found out had traveled 80 miles to be there, yet they each looked directly into my eyes with a look of true love and said those incredible words. About halfway around the room I simply burst into tears and fell into the arms of the nearest person, I just couldnt belive or understand it all, and he held me there and just repeated those words to me over and over. We were eventually led to the front of the room and as we lined up before the altar, we started to sing the song with them and then we couldnt believe what happened. As we took up the song, the people who had been in the room left us! They carried on singing and slowly walked out a side door, leaving us broken and amazed, nearly drowning in our tears. Almost 200 hundred people had come, some travelling for over an hour, simply to tell 26 guys that God loved us, and then left again, not asking anything in return or even waiting to be thanked. We were left standing there feeling confused and shocked and slowly wandered off to dark corners of the sanctuary to sit by our selves and think about what had just happened. I sat alone and felt so confused, what on earth did it all mean? I had to sort something out with God, but I couldnt work out what it was. So I slowly went up to the cross at the front of the room, and knelt there asking God what he was getting at with all of this. I wasnt crying anymore, and I just sat there bothered that I wasnt grasping it all. I felt someone kneel next to me and put his arms around me, and opened my eyes to see it was one of the few guys who I hadnt really spoken to since I'd been there, and as he just stayed there hugging me and telling me Jesus loved me It hit me! He had no reason to hug me, we'd never even spoken - he was choosing to, those people who came to tell me that they loved me had no valid reason to do so but they did, all the people who had sent us gifts and letters didnt have to, they just did. This was Agape love, these people were loving me simply because they had been loved in the same way by Jesus, and now they were choosing to love me like that. I know this is dragging on, but I just cant get over it. On sunday, after the final talk, we were each given a huge envelope full of letters. Each one was written for me personally, some by people I know - thanks guys! - and loads from people I've never known who had been given my name and were praying for me all weekend. The letters were just encouraging me to walk forward with God, and of course we were all weeping again! I cant figure out how they pulled that of, getting all those letters from people I knew and some I didn't. Then there was a huge service afterwards and all of our families came and we each had a chance to share what we had discovered over the weekend. Lots of the guys wept in the pulpit as they tried to put in to words the love that was poured out on them over the weekend. I didnt do a very good job myself.
What I'm getting at with telling this ridiculously long story is just that I want to put across the magnitude of love that is found in God's heart, all that love we were given was from God's own heart, flowing through his servants. None of it was deserved or even asked for, but it was given anyway, and that is the way I want to live. This love is contageous, it brought together 26 complete strangers into a solid group of brothers, simply because when we realized how loved we are, we couldnt help but pass it on to those around us. As Christians we have each been given acces to that never ending fountain of love, and the more we wake up and realize it, the more love we will have to pass on. Now I realize why Christ's death was so powerful - because that unconditional, extravagent love is not just life changing, it is WORLD CHANGING. Capable of breaking EVERY barrier, healing EVERY wound, touching EVERY hard heart. AGAPE IS THE ANSWER. If we choose to love like that - unconditionally, selflessly, unreasonably, sacrificially, extravagantly, not by impulse but by choice, then nothing can hold us back in this world, no mountain will EVER be to high, because that is love that flows directly from the heart of God everlasting.
DE COLORES!
